You're So Banging Him!
by Purely Shirley Jane
Summary: A rumor about something that "didn't" happen. Student Director relationship. T for language, ofcourse,
1. What He Thinks

Doug sat down at the chair in front of his desk. The drum instructor looked squarely into the band director's eyes. He chucked oddly to himself and leaned back.

"So, I've heard the rumors. Its true isn't?" Doug asked slyly.

"You know, by spreading those rumors, you could make me lose my job. And considering you suck, its means you would lose your job. So I suggest you stop talking about it." Mike said back with out even looking up.

"I was so right!" Doug said as he jumped up onto the chair. "Why else would you deny it if you weren't banging it?"

Mike looked up sharply and stared at Doug in till he awkwardly got done from the chair and sat like a man.

"I swear to god, if you keep screaming things like that I'm going to have to beat you till your glad there's no blood running through your veins because it would hurt so much." Mike threatened, "And no, I'm an not 'banging it'"

"Seriously. That's all the drummers are talking about. How you're a lucky piece of shit for getting ass like that. And I hate to say it, I argee." Doug replied.

"One, your being a huge pig right now. Two, it would be illegal. Three, I've known her since she crapped herself in my yard when she was four. I would puke if I ever thought of her in that way."

"So then I can have her?" Doug asked.

"Still illegal. And she would never sleep with you."

"Because she's sleeping with you."

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"No, I have sex in my sleep when I don't even you it. Its called sleep sex. I must have climbed into her room and had sex with her, and I didn't even know it."

"Really?"

"No"

"Is there such a thing as sleep sex?"

"No"

"Oh, to bad."


	2. Her Side

"Diana! Did you hear the rumor?" Lydia said as he ran up to Diane outside the school.

"No, what?"

"Well I heard form Josh who said Frankie told him that Gina said to her sister Wendy that Mike and Jonas were talking about what Kyle said to Polly about what Randy and Hilary argued about over Fiona saying that Andy said to Lewis about- "

"Lydia! Get to the god damn point!" Diane shouted as he jumped up in down in front of her crazy friend's face.

"Well fine! Everyone's saying that you and Mr. O'Connor are you know." Lydia made a hand gesture to finish her sentence.

"Oh god no!" Diana denied whacking Lydia's hand apart. 'That's so gross! He's known me forever. And I've known him forever. It would be super weird. It's super weird just thinking about it!"

"Well, its not like he's gross looking. He's pretty hot. I'd do him. You know, if you weren't." Lydia said longingly.

"Shut up! I am not doing him!" Diane made a gagging noise. "Plus you would do the retard drum instructor, Doug."

"Doug's pretty cute. If Jimmy, the Dairy Shack guy wasn't around, yeah I would do Doug." Lydia said as she checked her nails for cracks.

"Lydia, please spread a rumor that me and Mr. O'Connor are not sleeping with each other. 'Kay?" Lydia just nodded as she whipped out her cell phone and started texting whoever.

Diana grabbed her lunch and started to look for an open picnic table for herself and for even Lydia comes back. Diana was heading outside when she started to notice everyone was looking at her and whispering. Diana decided to forget about it and sat the first table she could find.

Diana was about to bit into her apple when she saw in the corner of her eye a freshman point at her. She heard her say to her freshman friend,

"That's the girl who is doing the band director."

Pissed off, Diana pulled the PowerAde from her bag, placed it in her pocket and threw the rest of her lunch away. She looked at the apple still in her hand and at the wall behind the freshman. Aiming perfectly, Diana pitched the apple hitting the wall in the ideal spot and turning it to applesauce. The two freshman girls, probably flutes, jumped a mile. Diana turned to face them.

"I swear to god, he'll be the next person you'll see if you ever talk about me again." Diana threatened to the scared freshman.


	3. The End

Diana was heading into the school when a bullhorn sounded for everyone to get back to the band room. Diana stopped a second to drink half of her blue PowerAde, since it would be taken away from her the minute the band moms saw it.

Diana sprinted down the stairs into the basement, where the band room was. She waved nicely to the band moms who were fitting a freshman trumpet player for his first band uniform. Lydia's mom waved Diana over as she pulled a bunch of pins form her mouth.

"Hey Diana. You next on my list so let me finish him up and then I'll get you a uniform. Did you grow at all over the year?"

"Yeah I lost a bit of weight, so I might be a size or two smaller. But other than that, I'm still just 5'1, smaller than most freshman, sadly." Diana said as she took seat.

"Hey Diana, can you run and get me George?" Another band mom asked.

"Sure, give me a sec." Diana got up and walked around the corner to the band room. She stood in the doorway listening to the music with her eyes close. She didn't even realize that the music was topped till Frankie, the drum major coughed. Diana opened her eyes and saw everyone was staring at her.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll only be two seconds. George, you need to go get fitted for your uniform." Diana pointed to the redhead kid in the front row. "Frankie, I still need to get fitted so I'll be back in a bit, 'Kay?"

Frankie nodded his head and raised his arms, when a door opened behind him. Mike popped his head out of his office and looked around for a familiar face. Spotting her, he smiled. Then frowned.

"Diana, can you come here, I need your help with something." Mike asked her.

"Oooo!" The entire band class snickered as she walked to his office. Diana shot them a death glare. Mike stepped from his office and pushed Frankie from his spot. He cleared his throut and yelled.

"For the freaking last time, WE ARE NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER!" and walked back to his office. Diana fallowed.

Closing the door, Diana walked over to Mike. She smiled. "That took balls."

"Almost as much balls it takes to do this every day." Mike said. He grabbed Diana, wrapped her arms around her and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.


End file.
